Complicated Love
by TJ Sparkles
Summary: Sometimes, you’ve got to go after what you want no matter if you get hurt or not." Amy is about to learn that the grass is not always greener on the other side. DEDICATION FIC to Heel Princess. Randy/Amy/Adam oneshot.


"_Complicated Love"_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Randy Orton, Amy Dumas (Lita), Adam Copeland, or any other wrestlers that are mentioned. The following events did not happen; this is simply fiction. As always, reviews/constructive criticism is appreciated :)**

**Dedication: For Vera (**_Heel Princess_**), for being a sweetheart and taking time out of her day to respond to my story requests. I hope you like this, hon!**

**A/N: I'm not generally a huge fan of Randy/Lita pairings, but then again, this is a dedication. I hope you guys enjoy this :)**

I should have known better. When people told me that he was a playboy; that he would only hurt me, I should have listened. But I didn't. I've always been that way—very stubborn and hard-headed. We had crazy chemistry from the day we met on RAW, when he was a member of Rated RKO with my boyfriend, Adam. From the day our eyes met, I knew that there was going to be trouble. I could feel the heat between us every time I looked at him. I knew he wanted me, and I think he knew that I wanted him, too. We couldn't do anything about it at the time, though, because I was with Adam, and he had a girlfriend.

But that didn't stop us from flirting with each other. Oh gosh, we used to flirt **all the** **time **when the cameras weren't rolling. He would come up to me after a match, in the locker room he shared with Adam, and he would just start flirting with me. Sometimes he'd be very open about it, either by smacking me on the ass or touching my arm, and other times he would be a little more secretive about it, like the time we were giggling and joking about John and he lightly brushed my hair out of my eyes. Or the time where he kissed me on the cheek after he and Adam had won a match on RAW. I just knew that Randy had feelings for me, and I was pretty sure he knew how I felt about him. I often cried myself to sleep at night because even though I still loved Adam, I wanted to be with Randy even more. I felt terrible. I mean, I had already sacrificed one 

relationship to be with Adam, and now I was in the exact same position I had been in before my relationship with Matt had ended. I didn't want to tell Adam how I was feeling, because I knew it would hurt him, but I didn't want to cheat on him either. There were several nights that I spent tossing and turning because I was just so confused.

Finally, after about three months of worrying and crying and just feeling like crap in general, I decided to act on my feelings. I really didn't know where to start, so I just sat down and made a list of pros and cons. That had always helped me in the past, so I decided to stick with it. After I finished making the list, I realized that the first thing I needed to do was tell Adam how I felt. I knew it was going to hurt him, but being honest with him and telling him how I was feeling might also save our friendship. I knew that it would end our relationship, however, and I was prepared for that. The next course of action after I told Adam would be to confront Randy and let him know what was going on. I wasn't really worried about that part, though. I was mainly concerned with breaking the news to Adam as gently as possible.

But things don't always go the way you plan them. I called Adam the very next day. He was on the road, making his way home to Toronto to see his family for Thanksgiving. It was the first time in several years that he was able to go home and see him mom and his friends, including Jay. In fact, when I called him and he told me that he was heading home, I began to have second thoughts. I considered waiting until he got back to the States to tell him about everything, because breaking up with someone over the phone was not my style, but as soon as he asked me what was wrong, I had to tell him. There was no going back. Whatever happened would happen.

So I took a deep breath and, rather softly, explained everything to him. I told him about all the feelings that I had been having the past few months, about why I hadn't been sleeping, about 

why I had gone to the store in the middle of the night and not returned until six o' clock the next morning. I told him everything, and when I was finished, I felt **so** relieved.

Then Adam started crying. He was trying to hide it, but I could tell. I could hear the little sobs in his voice and I knew that I had hurt him, even though he tried to deny it. Of course I felt terrible for hurting him. Despite what the public may think about me, I'm not a monster. I do have a heart. Hearing Adam get so upset reminded me of Matt's first reaction when he found out that Adam and I were together. I'll never forget the look on his face or the tears in his eyes. Even though I couldn't see Adam, I knew that he had a similar expression on his face. I didn't want Adam to hate me; that wasn't why I told him. I just didn't think it was fair to keep lying to him. I hadn't been in love with him for a long time and he deserved to know that.

After the disastrous conversation with Adam, I called Randy. As horrible as it sounds, the relationship between myself and Adam ending was a blessing. It meant that Randy and I could finally be together, really **be** together, without hiding. As soon as I hung up the phone, Randy rushed over to my home. The home I shared with Adam. He was barely in the door before I jumped on him. The next four hours consisted of nothing but the two of us making love. In a way, I guess we were releasing all the energy that we'd had to keep hidden for so long. We were making up for lost time. I did feel a little bit guilty after it was over, especially since the whole liaison had taken place in Adam's bed, but I quickly shook the feeling off. I bid Randy goodbye, still feeling a bit light-headed from earlier. Little did I know that our newly-formed relationship was about to take a turn for the worse.

I don't know what I was expecting, really. I guess I expected the relationship to last. But when you get down to it, all that we really had in common was sex. In fact, that's all we did when we 

were together. Randy and I never went out on dates; we never sat around and watched movies and just talked like I used to do with Adam. The sexual attraction between us was the biggest part of our relationship, and it didn't bother me at first. But after a while, I got tired of that, and I wanted a real relationship, one that wasn't based solely on sex. So I told Randy. He seemed okay with it at first, so I thought that everything was going to be okay.

Until he started ignoring me. After my little revelation, Randy apparently decided that he wanted nothing more to do with me. He began avoiding me. If I happened to show up at a RAW taping, he would either make sure that he wasn't there or he'd have John or someone else tell me that he wasn't there. It pissed me off because I had thought he was mature enough to realize that there was nothing more to our relationship than sex. I thought that maybe he'd see that we still had chemistry, though, and would try to work on a potential relationship—an actual relationship that wasn't based on sex. Apparently I was wrong. It made me so mad that I just wanted to find Randy, corner him, and beat the crap out of him. I kept pursing the issue for a few more weeks, and then stopped. If Randy didn't want to talk to me, then I wasn't going to force him. I didn't have the time or the energy to keep chasing him. I would just have to cut my losses and move on.

The problem was that I couldn't. I had destroyed any chance of getting back together with Adam, and I knew that Matt still hated me. I was back to square one, which really depressed me. I decided that it would be too hard to be wrestling with both Adam and Randy on the same show, so I decided to retire. Vince was disappointed, and I knew my fans would be disappointed too, but I just knew that I wouldn't be able to go on wrestling, especially since the man whom I had loved and the man who had broken my heart were both on the same show. I just couldn't do it.

I was sad for a while, and I cried myself to sleep many nights. But eventually, I was able to move on and reach the place I am at today. I've learned that sometimes you've got to go after what you want no matter if you get hurt or not. I've never regretted what I did in terms of going after Randy; I only regret the fact that I hurt Adam in the process. But I believe that situations like these can be learning experiences, and I definitely learned from the whole experience. I just hope that one day, Adam will be able to forgive me for what I did, and I hope that maybe we can be friends again.

**Well, there it is. I wrote this whole thing pretty quickly. Again, review and let me know what you think. Vera, I hope you like this :)**


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